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If I insult someone in my mind, am I sinful or is that considered backbiting?
No, how can you insult someone in your mind? I mean, out of frustration. you keep it to yourself.
No, inshaAllah, it's neither backbiting nor a sin, as long as Allah has pardoned my umma for what they think to themselves.
But no. You can say, may Allah guide him, for example.
Al-Tufayl ibn Amr, may Allah be pleased with him.
He went to Daws, the tribe of Abu Huraira, he went to Daws to call them to Allah, the Blessed and Exalted, but they did not respond to him.
They did not accept Islam, so he became angry with them.
So he went to the Prophet ﷺ and said: O Messenger of Allah, I called the people of Daws but they did not respond to me, so supplicate against them.
And he wanted to supplicate against them, feeling defeated by them, but the Prophet raised his hands and said: O Allah, guide the people of Daws.
So instead of insulting him, say: O Allah, guide him.
Guidance, supplicate for his guidance. This benefit is greater than insulting, being narrow-minded, or sad; may Allah guide him.
The Prophet ﷺ had his head wounded.
And his incisor was broken ﷺ, and he would wipe the blood and say: O Allah, forgive my people, for they do not know.
Look. O Allah, forgive my people, for they do not know. They were fighting as disbelievers.
He ﷺ was making du'a for their guidance.
So the point is, a person should train himself to make du'a for guidance, not to insult or curse or anything like that. Do not get your tongue used
to cursing and insulting.